As musicians we all want to be successful. We want to be hired for that full-time job, win that concerto competition, be selected for that all-state band, get into that top music school, be chosen as first chair, etc. We all also know that one player that seems to be successful at everything they attempt. They were first chair in high school, got into the all-state band, was accepted into a top music school, won the college concerto competition, and got their first full-time job at the age of 20. However, most of us don’t find ourselves in that position and it can be very disheartening when we try to compare our accomplishments. We feel like failures.

I’ve been in that position in the past when I had no tangible accomplishments under my belt and I felt that I was a terrible player. From experience I can firmly say that there is nothing that can be said to alleviate the feeling. However, there are very important lessons to learn from it. I learned that I had to work my butt off practicing, learning, and listening if I ever wanted to achieve my goal of being able to play at an extremely high level. I learned that one can not succeed if they never try. Most importantly, I learned that exhibiting confidence, optimism, and joy attracts allies to one’s side while an exhibition of cockiness, pessimism, and depression is always repulsive.

When you feel like a failure it is a great time to reevaluate what you are doing. Is your feeling of failure justified? If it is what can you learn from it?